"What is your name?" -- Genesis 32:27

Oh world invisible, we view thee,
Oh world intangible, we touch thee,
Oh world unknowable, we know thee,
Inapprehensible, we clutch thee!

Does the fish soar to find the ocean,
The eagle plunge to find the air
Do we ask of the stars in motion,
If they have rumor of thee there?

Not where the wheeling systems darken,
And our benumbed conceiving soars!
The drift of pinions, would we hearken,
Beats at our own clay-shuttered doors.

The angels keep their ancient places;
Turn but a stone, and start a wing!
Tis ye, tis your estranged faces,
That miss the many-splendoured thing.

But when so sad thou canst not sadder
Cry and upon thy so sore loss
Shall shine the traffic of Jacob's ladder

Pitched betwixt Heaven and Charing Cross.

Yea, in the night, my Soul, my daughter,
Cry clinging Heaven by the hems;
And lo, Christ walking on the water
Not of Gennesaret, but Thames!

-- Francis Thompson 

A Passion for Thee

Set my heart, O dear Father,
On Thee, and Thee only,
Give me a thirst for Thy presence divine.
Lord, keep my focus on loving Thee wholly,
Purge me from earth; Turn my heart after Thine.

A passion for Thee;
O Lord, set a fire in my soul, and a thirst for my God.
Hear Thou my prayer, Lord, Thy power impart.
Not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

Father fill with Thy Spirit, and fit me for service,
Let love for Christ every motive inspire,
Teach me to follow in selfless submission,
Be Thou my joy and my soul's one desire.

A passion for Thee;
O Lord, set a fire in my soul, and a thirst for my God.
Hear Thou my prayer, Lord, Thy power impart.
Not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

Here's a link where you can hear part of it:  A Passion for Thee

I think its a beautiful song :) 

When finding myself fading back so easily into life's distractions, thinking too much over issues that deserve less focus, playing out my Christian identity mechanically and treating my privilleage to serve as another chore amongst the rest - I recall once again, Christ. 

How a Faith can survive today's Church

2 Corinthians 12:1-10

I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The 'thorn in the flesh' as mentioned by Paul was speculated to have several possibilities. A view claimed it to be an actual physical illness perhaps his eyes (Gal 4:13-15) or his back (Luk 13:11 - the same word in greek was used) Another put forth a theological position, citing it to be man-centeredness and Sin, perhaps one that Paul was more prone to commit. Humans all have their snares when a desire is executed to its extremes, and in Paul's case, covetousness?( Rom7:7-8) The last view which I feel more inclined towards is that it was an emotional distress which had arised from the hardships, persecution and calamities of the gospel. Whatever the thorn is, it is clear that it has inflicted pain upon Paul, and Paul has acknowledged the reason for its occurence - to keep him from being conceited.

And likewise, ministry and the Christian life will have 'thorns'. Be ita physical, mental or emotional one, the very reason for thorns to exist is so that we who serve Him can be humbled. The desires of a smooth-sailing ministry and perfect life situations that require no stress in making christian decesions are defintely longed of by anyone who wants to live the Christian life. Why can't people respond the way they should? Why can't our proneness to sin just be curbed? Why can't people around be more encouraging? - the intent of all the difficulties, is so that we won't exalt ourselves, so we may rely on Him.

Like Paul, we might cry to the Lord to take it away from us. But God did not do so for Paul. He simply answered that his grace was sufficient and His power is made perfect in weakness.

And I realised - an understanding of the gospel and Jesus Christ is enough to bring us through difficulties and weaknesses. A right perspective of Christ is strength enough. If one feels unjusitified and angered, look to the insults and suffering that Christ had to bear. If one feels physically tired and weak, look to the work on the Cross. If one is feels emotionally distressed and lost, look to the rejection that Christ had to bear when God placed the entirety of Mankind's sins on Him...

I guess that I shouldn't expect the people responses, situations or circumstances to be in anyway favourable. And while knowing so, even when I am facing the more obvious difficulties - not to expect that I should tackle them through people's encouragements in words or actions, inspiring songs and musing-it-out. Yes, sincere encouragements from the body of Christ would be great, songs and inspirational articles are good reminders and musing-it-out does apply relief when I finally position myself bibically. But ulimately - I do not depend on these to carry on. My reliance lies in Christ alone for He is the one that will grant the strength.

Indeed, His power is made perfect in weakness, because its through weakness that we can truly experience the power of Christ.

The Skies

When people think about God, about a heaven, about a higher being that sees everything...

The skies are a frequent and somewhat natural expectance to that.

Somehow, the sky has become a representative, or maybe to some, a symbolic appearance to what the almighty is like.

Perhaps its because...

The sky is so high in reach. That we only can look on. And not touch.
The sky is so mysterious with its clouds. That we may only see so much of the blue, and then be awed at its beauty.
The sky is so enchanting. That we can gaze at it in all emotions and feel to our strongest as we look upon its stars.
The sky is so vast. That we can just admire and not totally see altogether.

And the sky...

We await his return.

Come Home Running

Oh heart of mine, why must you stray?
From one so fair, you run away
And one more time. You have to pay
The heaviness of needless shame

Oh heart of mine, come back home
You've been too long out on your own
And He's been there all along
Watching for you down the road
So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

Oh child of God
so dearly loved
And ransomed by the Savior's blood
And called by name, daughter and son
Wrapped in the robe of righteousness

Let it Be.

How much of humanity is one to take, till he realises its weak? I'll answer that question at the end.

Father, it might be funny that I can use you like a spring board. Many do so, not only me. It almost seems like moments... as its also seen in Judges... we fall. We run back. We run away. We fall. We run back.

Every single time that distortion happens... that disfigurement that drifts me away from you, many emotions drive towards me. Emotions of guilt? Of anger? Of fustration? Maybe also a feeling of confusion... of terror.
Yet, all the time, you are there. And I am allowed to take that spring board once again.

But I fear.

I fear that the air above might make me ill once again. Its difficult... yet so easy. Simplistically wonderful, yet awesomely complicated.

But then again, who am I to understand love? Who am I to understand forgiveness?

I ask myself many questions that make me wonder more. Could faith be gripped onto tightly all the time, with the same amount of pressure? If its in a new environment, faced with more trials, challenged with sticky situations... is faith existant with the same, unconditional surrender?

Is it a constant, or a variable?
Does it work like a refractive index? Or a mass that can change by manipulation?

Again, who am I to ask? I am, but to believe.
To believe, with faith. To fathom, with faith.

Am I still confused? Sometimes, I don't know...
Its like a 'tip of the tongue' syndrome. I can see the oasis, I know that its not a mirage, yet as I run... I seem to only get in circles.

Why do I type this down, and keep record of it here? Why do I seemingly hold on towards a device that would be shown to the world, but not the equationistic way to communicate with you? Thats why, father, I sometimes question the role of this blog. Perhaps, it might be clearer to me, this way... I can be aware of the conversational. Excuse or Reason? Time will tell me....

I'm sorry father, for constantly messing with the meaningless devices of this world.
For constantly sparking off rebellions to you at certain periods of folly.
For constantly not livning for the appropirate motives.
I'm sorry, that I fell.
Your grace, your love, your forgiveness. You. Thats what my focus should be on. Everything else that fades away or inclines itself, sorrowfully towards, is nothing.
I can never be numb to that. I can never be isolated away from that fact. I don't want to be.

To be lost in the meaningless multitudes of redundantness in the world... I don't want that.

The answer to the question.... Not much.

"Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguements, because your know
they produce quarrels." -- 2 Tim 2:23

Yeah. It is dumb. The knowledge of the world. The concept of man. The language of Humans. Its nothing. Seriously, its just meaningless. And afterall, such arguements produce quarrels.

So why let myself keep falling into this trap of trying to fight with logic, reason, purpose and concept?

Doesn't the truth stumble each one of them all?

Doesn't sincere faith put every single one to shame?

Doesn't obidence humiliate the air that they cling their survival onto?

All the mind.... but I guess, you can't forget the heart and the soul as well.

No one did say the mind was the most superior.

But how would I know?

Enlighten me father..... I'm sorry.